For some reason, today and yesterday have been especially difficult. I am only two days away from reaching my 3-week goal, and I think this is partly to blame. I feel so close to the finish line that my thinking becomes: “well, you basically did it, what’s a little chocolate now? You made it 19 days already!”. Of course, if I actually give in, I won’t be able to enjoy the full satisfaction of reaching the finish line without a single intentional “cheat”. I have been bombarded with temptations the last few days. Everyone around me is buying and eating sugary and delicious things. There were truffles sitting out at the clinic today! I have had dreams of eating chocolate cupcakes with thick chocolate frosting. Last night I had a dream that I was looking out my window onto a pumpkin patch… except instead of pumpkins, there were jars of Nutella. I kid you not. If you didn’t think I was weird before…

However, despite feeling the urge to eat sugar more the last couple days, I still feel my will power and resolve to say no is strong. Did you know that willpower behaves similarly to a muscle? The more you exercise it, the stronger it becomes. Also, there is a finite amount. Self-control is a limited resource.

I am still making healthy choices for my meals and snacks and not replacing sugar with something equally unhealthy. But let me tell you, I am fantasizing a little about what treat I will consume on Tuesday. The goal, of course, is to be more mindful about my sugar consumption for long after this cleanse ends. I hope that my taste buds now need less sweet taste to be happy and that I can pick up on my sugar triggers and have a healthy habit in place to satisfy the urge. An apple with nut butter and cinnamon has yet to fail me and is my new go-to.

A big part of my success in staying at a healthy weight the last several years (while still eating as much as I want, and not exercising fanatically) is a shift in the relationship I have with food. Seeing food for what it is–literally the nutrients that sustain me and keep me healthy–instead of seeing food emotionally has been crucial. I was a very emotional eater in the past, in many unconscious and subconscious ways. I had created emotional attachments and meaning to food without even realizing it!

Now, I see food as a tool to improve my life. Food is medicine. Food is empowering! I have a choice about what I put in my body and I can build a strong and resilient body just by what I eat. Sugar is not going to make my body and mind strong, happy (for more than a few minutes) or healthy. Sugar is not a reward. I repeat sugar is not a reward. We shouldn’t really call them “treats” or “goodies” because this implies that we deserve them when we need comfort or praise. However, there has to be a balance. It is okay to treat yourself to delicious, unhealthy things once in a while. But, when we see sugar as our first choice for comfort or reward, then we create a dangerous habit. The reward system in the brain with sugar works just like the reward circuit for cocaine and other addictive drugs.

See a summary of the study here, and the link to the full study is at the end of the article:    http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2007/08/23/is-sugar-more-addictive-than-cocaine.aspx

This last week, I have had a ton of energy, which is fantastic because I have had a ton to do. I feel my sugar cleanse has allowed me to ride this holiday season wave with a bit more grace than is typical. I will write a final post on Tuesday or Wednesday to reflect on what changes I observed! Hint: all good.

Read The Sugar Diaries Day 14, and The Sugar Diaries Final Results!